The emotional impact of living with osteoporosis

Please note that this piece contains references to suicidal thoughts and other mental health concerns.

During Mental Health Awareness Week 2021, volunteer Laura Wolfson explores her experiences with osteoporosis and the emotional impact of living with the long-term effects after spinal fractures.

I was diagnosed with osteoporosis in my 30s, which I was told was caused by high levels of the hormone prolactin in my blood. This caused me to break my finger and a toe, and I had back pain that got worse into my 40s. This was when I also began experiencing menopausal symptoms. I didn’t pay much attention to any of it at the time as there were so many other things going on in my life, including the death of my husband.

Then in my late 50s, I suffered a spinal fracture while vacuuming. The pain was absolutely excruciating. I began taking a strong pain-relieving drug called gabapentin, but this had other unwelcome effects. I became more and more withdrawn. Suicidal thoughts eventually led me to talk to my doctor, who prescribed anti-depressants.

The pain medication also affected my libido. I felt a bit ashamed, because that is what older women are often made to feel when it comes to issues to do with hope or pleasure - I feel we're expected to have taken so much pleasure in raising our families that we really don't need any more. Our role is mothering, giving to others. I think that is one of the aspects that makes it hard for older women to talk about their own needs, like if they are in pain or afraid.

Battling all these knock-on effects from the spinal fractures made me feel very alone – especially as people don’t seem to talk about these issues. I didn’t know what I should expect, or when to ask for help from my doctor. You find yourself deciding what you can endure.

Things that have helped me enjoy the good days and weather the bad ones are talking and sharing how I’m feeling, being open minded, and taking time to look after myself. For example, I make sure I get out every day to walk my dog. Getting out in the fresh air and seeing some greenery always lifts my mood and helps me to stay physically strong, too.

The Royal Osteoporosis Society Helpline is also a great support, with practical advice about managing pain and a listening ear when you’re feeling concerned.

You can read Laura's story in full in the next issue of our members' magazine, Osteoporosis News.

Find out how to become a member.

More information and support

We have lots more information about osteoporosis and managing long-term pain, including self-help strategies. See our information about living with osteoporosis and managing pain.

Our osteoporosis specialist nurses are here for your support. Call the free Helpline on 0808 800 0035 or email nurses@theros.org.uk

If you feel distressed, Samaritans offer a safe place for you to talk. Call the 24-hour free helpline on 116 123.